In early times

My choice and decision to become a birth attendant was one that I unintentionally began. I attended the birth of a very best friend from early primary school days, who knew that she would be birthing her daughter still born. I never questioned or gave her the impression that this is not the kind of birth I pictured myself attending but it was one that became the catalyst of where I am today. I felt honored to be there to support her in any way I could and ultimately she trusted me and trusted in my being there.  We had studied Maori language classes together and my passion for singing and karakia was something I had a love for.  I loved what our words sung out loud done to me and those that listened and this is what she asked of me.  To be there to sing to her as she was birthing her beautiful daughter into the world.  I didn't have a particular choice in the songs I sung, I just sung the songs that I felt would help her to mentally focus and center herself emotionally.  Before long, her first born daughter was born every way loved and every way still part of the family.  The feelings of the birth remained with me sub consciously for a long time and yet I remember little snippets of that exact time as though she had just been born.
My next birth was unfortunately the same, where I attended purely as support for yet another still birth of a precious little boy.  I could feel that something was affecting me and yet I still didn't acknowledge that this was possibly my calling.  My words, songs, tune everything was making an impact on some one's life and I had no idea that I was doing it.
My next birth was that of my nephew Brian, I spent time massaging and being with my sister in law.  Reassuring her that everything was going to be okay and for me I felt privileged to be asked to be there and present for my family.  My sisters eldest son was my next attended birth.  Before long my sister was standing giving birth and I was there to catch him and assist.  Free birthing at it's best I tell you. It's not about the hanging qualification that's says you can do it, it's about your ability to trust in yourself as an attendant at a birth that matters most. Your support brings that added security to a family and makes such a difference to the atmosphere. Therefore you always have to make sure you are transparent in your dealings. (a lesson I need to learn in my daily life) Labouring mothers are like sponges and feel everything and I mean everything. That tiff you had with your significant other is showing in your body language and being magnified a katrillion times over in that room. So take some time to debrief yourself and your mood. Even if it's in the car for 10 minutes, just breathing and getting to your place of neutrality. It will make the world of difference to a families experience with a birth attendant, doula or Tapuhi.